The Anniversary Read online

  34

  “I guess she forgot.”

  35 S

  Callie sighed. “She didn’t forget.”

  36 R

  “Well, then, I guess she just didn’t want to.”

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  After she’d set out the silverware, Callie plopped back in her 1

  chair. “I wish she —”

  2

  “Just give her some time, Callie. She’s still not used to having 3

  someone else around. She’s used to having you to herself.”

  4

  “I know. You’re right. I just — I just wish it was easier for her.

  5

  It’s not like we just met. She’s had time to get to know you. I 6

  don’t know what the problem is.”

  7

  “Let it go, Cal. She’ll come around in time. Once she sees that 8

  I’m not going anywhere.”

  9

  Once she sees that I’m not going anywhere. The words were like 10

  a gift that she welcomed but didn’t quite expect. Her mind held 11

  them awkwardly, uncertain where to put them.

  12

  “I thought ten was supposed to be easier,” she finally said. “I 13

  was reading somewhere that nine is a hard age, then things settle 14

  down at ten. It’s supposed to be one of the ages of equilibrium. I 15

  thought there’d be some, you know, break before she’s a teenager.”

  16

  “Kids are individuals. They don’t grow according to plan.”

  17

  A pause. Callie stretched her arms overhead, then folded one 18

  at the elbow and dropped it behind her back. Using the other 19

  hand, she pressed down on the upper arm. A yoga stretch she’d 20

  learned years ago, back when she did such things.

  21

  “At least she’s speaking to you,” Callie said. “I guess that’s an 22

  improvement.”

  23

  “There you go.”

  24

  Dropping the other arm, Callie repeated the stretch, this time 25

  on the other side.

  26

  She was more tired than she’d realized.

  27

  She’d love to go to bed early tonight, but she still had reading 28

  to do. If she let herself get behind, she’d be screwed by the end of 29

  the school year. She was way beyond the age when all-nighters 30

  seemed like fun.

  31

  “Ready to eat?” Rick was pulling the pizza from the oven, 32

  where he’d stuck it to keep warm. The yeasty scent of dough 33

  wafted through the room.

  34

  Callie looked at him and smiled, the tension subsiding again.

  S 35

  She loved their Wednesday pizza nights, haphazard and slightly R 36

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  festive. She got to her feet, stretched again, and headed toward 2

  the stairs.

  3

  “Just put it on the table. I’ll go get Anna,” she said.

  4

  h

  5

  6

  DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT PERMISSION

  7

  THIS MEANS YOU!!!!!

  8

  ANYONE WHO COMES IN WITHOUT ASKING

  9

  WILL BE IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW

  10

  RICK EVANS YOU CANNOT COME INTO MY ROOM

  11

  Signed,

  12

  Anna Elizabeth Thayer

  13

  14

  The sign on Anna’s door was a new addition. With a slight sink-15

  ing feeling, Callie read the words again. She thought about what 16

  Rick had said downstairs, how Anna was simply jealous. The sign 17

  on the door was like a cry for help, or at least a cry for attention.

  18

  Callie knocked on the door. No answer. From inside, she heard 19

  a cartoon character’s high-pitched, excited voice. The words were 20

  followed by a bonking sound, then a whistling and a crash. Cal-21

  lie knocked again, louder this time, then cracked open the door.

  22

  “Hi, bug.”

  23

  Anna was sprawled on her bed in a sea of stuffed animals. She 24

  was wearing gray sweatpants and a Merritt Elementary School 25

  T-shirt.

  26

  “Hi, Mommy,” she said.

  27

  “May I come in?”

  28

  “Okay.” Anna’s eyes had moved away from hers, drifting back 29

  to the TV screen.

  30

  The room was its usual chaos, and Callie had to pick her way 31

  through the obstacle course to reach her daughter’s bed. A hair-32

  brush, a necklace, a black patent shoe, a Harry Potter book. Cal-33

  lie’s old computer, which Anna had begged for, had become an 34

  impromptu clothes rack, barely visible beneath a pile of pants, 35 S

  skirts, and sweaters.

  36 R

  Perching on the side of the mattress, Callie leaned down for 1 6

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  a kiss. As her lips brushed her daughter’s cheek, she smelled 1

  something unfamiliar, a cloying chemical sweetness that clung to 2

  Anna’s hair.

  3

  “That smell,” she said. “What is it?”

  4

  “Remember? We got it in the mail. You said that I could 5

  have it.”

  6

  A shampoo sample, Callie remembered now. One of those mi-7

  nuscule bottles tossed by the millions into consumer mailboxes.

  8

  A puke-green-colored container with a picture of daisies on the 9

  label.

  10

  “I like your usual better.”

  11

  “But Mom, that’s baby shampoo.”

  12

  “They just call it that because it doesn’t sting your eyes. I use 13

  it, and I’m not a baby.”

  14

  “Mom.” Anna rolled her eyes toward the ceiling, as if her 15

  mother’s views on this subject were too embarrassing to consider.

  16

  Callie sighed, and sat back. There’d been more and more of 17

  these moments lately, and she had to pick her battles. The mess 18

  in Anna’s room, for example, was something she didn’t push.

  19

  Maybe once a month or so, she’d insist on a full-scale cleanup.

  20

  The rest of the time she told herself it was Anna who had to live 21

  here. The TV had been another concession that Callie at times 22

  regretted. But she limited Anna to an hour a day, and only after 23

  homework.

  24

  “Homework finished?” she asked now.

  25

  “Uh-huh,” Anna said.

  26

  Cuddled up with her battered stuffed bear, Anna still looked 27

  like a child. And yet, Callie was well aware of the crossroads just 28

  ahead. There on the wall by Anna’s bed was a poster of Britney 29

  Spears. Balloonlike breasts. Slick, wet lips. A pale froth of hair.

  30

  An
ominous intimation of the years that lay ahead.

  31

  Callie looked at her daughter. “So what’s with the sign?” she 32

  asked.

  33

  “What sign?” Anna said. She kept watching the cartoon. A 34

  green squirrel scampered to the edge of a tree limb, not watching S 35

  his step. The branch ended, but he kept going until he glanced R 36

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  down. Then, in sudden panic, he found he was suspended in 2

  space. The knowledge seemed to trigger the force of gravity, hith-3

  erto suspended. A whistling, whooshing noise as the squirrel plum-4

  meted to earth.

  5

  Anna laughed loudly.

  6

  Callie, knowing her daughter, could tell the sound was forced.

  7

  “The sign on your door, ” she said, refusing to be put off.

  8

  Still not looking at her mother, Anna shrugged her shoulders.

  9

  Callie waited for something more, but Anna didn’t go on. Af-10

  ter another few seconds of silence, Callie tried again. “What’s up 11

  with you and Rick? You used to like him fine. Remember how you 12

  went sledding last winter, you, Henry, and Rick?”

  13

  Still no response.

  14

  An explosion on the TV screen sent the green squirrel hurtling 15

  through outer space, through the stars, past the moon, past the 16

  rings of Saturn.

  17

  “Anna, turn off the television.”

  18

  “But Mom —”

  19

  “Turn it off.”

  20

  With a sigh, Anna clicked the remote, but she still didn’t 21

  look up.

  22

  In the sudden silence, Callie had an impulse just to let it go.

  23

  But they had to talk about this sometime, and it might as well be 24

  now.

  25

  “Come on, Anna. Tell me.”

  26

  Anna shrugged again, more elaborately this time. Her eyes 27

  shifted from Callie’s face to someplace beyond her shoulder. As if 28

  she were seeking an escape route to somewhere her mother was 29

  not.

  30

  “He’s okay,” she finally said. “I just don’t see why he has to be 31

  here all the time.”

  32

  “He’s here because he cares. He cares about both of us.” Callie 33

  studied her daughter. “I think there’s something else. Something 34

  you’re not telling me.”

  35 S

  “I don’t have to tell you everything. ” Anna stared at her lap, 36 R

  hair shielding her face.

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  “No. Of course not,” Callie said gently. “But you might feel 1

  better if you talked about it.”

  2

  Anna shifted her position, and as her hair fell away, Callie 3

  glimpsed her trembling mouth. She looked both defiant and mis-4

  erable, and Callie yearned to touch her. To do something — any-5

  thing — to soothe her daughter’s pain. But she knew from past 6

  experience that this would just make things worse. When Anna 7

  was in this sort of mood, she had to wait it out.

  8

  “He’s not my father.”

  9

  Anna said the words so softly that Callie almost missed them.

  10

  She looked at her daughter in astonishment, wondering if she’d 11

  heard right.

  12

  “He’s not!” Anna’s voice was stronger now. Her eyes squarely 13

  met her mother’s.

  14

  Callie took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “No,” she 15

  said. “You’re right.”

  16

  Her mind was flying now, trying to frame a response, trying to 17

  come up with an answer that Anna would find reassuring. At the 18

  same time, she was casting around for a clue as to where this had 19

  come from. She couldn’t remember the last time that Anna had 20

  mentioned Kevin.

  21

  “You’ve been thinking about your dad?”

  22

  “No!” Anna said. And then, “A little.” She’d dropped her 23

  head, and once again her face was veiled behind a swath of hair.

  24

  “So . . . what do you think about?”

  25

  “Just some stuff we did. Like that place where we got pumpkins 26

  for Halloween. And at that park, where he pushed me on the 27

  swing.”

  28

  She’d been so young, only three. Callie was amazed she re-29

  membered. When she herself thought of Kevin Thayer, almost 30

  nothing remained. Just the monotony of trying to pretend that 31

  she’d been right to marry him. Even his face was a blur now: 32

  plump cheeks beneath the thinning hair, small pug nose. When 33

  she tried to picture her ex-husband, she thought of a smooth, 34

  round egg. Yet he hadn’t been a bad man. Just not the man for S 35

  her.

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  “You liked doing those things.”

  2

  “Yeah.”

  3

  Callie moved a hand to Anna’s back, but Anna wriggled away.

  4

  After a moment, though, she looked at Callie, her gaze shrewd, 5

  assessing. The look of a seasoned gambler weighing the odds of 6

  a bet.

  7

  “Are you going to marry Rick?”

  8

  The question caught Callie off guard. “I . . . I don’t know, 9

  honey,” she hedged. “We haven’t talked about it.”

  10

  “But you might marry him.”

  11

  “Look, sweetie, I’m not going to marry anyone unless . . . un-12

  less we both agree. Unless you and I both decide that it would be 13

  a good idea.”

  14

  “Really?” Anna’s face lit up. This time when Callie touched 15

  her, she didn’t squirm away.

  16

  Reaching beneath her daughter’s shirt, Callie tickled her lightly, 17

  trailing her fingers down the narrow back in the way that Anna 18

  loved.

  19

  “You know, if you want to talk about your dad, you can tell me.”

  20

  “Okay.” Anna’s voice was muffled, her face pressed against a 21

  pillow.

  22

  “Do you . . . miss him?” It was painful to ask the question.

  23

  Maybe because she wanted so much to believe that she could 24

  make Anna happy.

  25

  “I’m okay, Mom,” Anna said.

  26

  Callie didn’t say anything. For an instant, she had a strange 27

  sensation that Anna was protecting her.

  28

  Then, leaning forward, she kissed Anna’s flowery hair. “C’mon, 29

  honey, l
et’s go downstairs. It’s pizza night,” she said.

  30

  31

  “So you’ll be back on Tuesday?”

  32

  “That’s the plan.”

  33

  It was a little before eight. They were sitting at the kitchen 34

  table. Rick flipped through the Merritt Gazette, while Callie 35 S

  scanned the mail — applications for credit cards, catalogues, a 36 R

  sweepstakes entry.

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  “I’ll miss you,” Callie said to him. And was surprised to realize 1

  it was true.

  2

  Rick looked over and smiled at her, faint lines deepening around 3

  his eyes. He looked both older and younger, smiling at her like 4

  that. In fact, he was thirty-two, three years younger than she was.

  5

  They’d met late last summer at a neighborhood barbecue. Rick 6

  didn’t live in the neighborhood, but his pal Tod Carver did. Tod 7

  was Rick’s best friend at the Merritt Police Department. He had 8

  curly hair, a rueful expression, and Callie was fond of him. He re-9

  minded her a bit of a guy she’d dated back in high school.

  10

  Like Callie, Rick was a Merritt transplant, having moved up 11

  from New York. At the barbecue, they’d traded stories over paper 12

  plates of food. “Burnout,” he’d said simply, when she asked him 13

  why he’d moved. For her part, she’d told him how she’d come 14

  here for school, then fallen for the town.

  15

  He was so appealing, so easy to talk to, she’d liked him right 16

  away. Still, when he’d asked her out for dinner, she’d found her-17

  self hesitating. She’d been on her own for so long now. It seemed 18

  safer that way. There was no one to tell her what to do, no one to 19

  report to. No one to ask her difficult questions, to dredge up the 20

  painful past. Her life was simple, streamlined. For the most part, 21

  it worked. And yet there was something about Rick that had 22

  caused her to reconsider. I’ll go out with him once, she’d told her-23

  self. And that was how it started.

  24

  A rustle as Rick turned the page, and a flyer fell to the floor.

  25

  Pushing aside the mail, Callie reached down to get it. A two-for-26

  one sale on Easter candy, worth remembering. Once again, it was 27

  almost time for the neighborhood’s Easter egg hunt. When was 28

  Easter anyway? Two weeks? Or was it sooner?

  29

  She reached into her purse for her Filofax, meaning to check 30

  the date. But as she pulled out the date book, she saw that some-31